Necrotongue

John "Lone Wolf" Rambo ventured into the rugged landscapes of Afghanistan, turning stones in search of his most daring adventure yet. This time, the creators spared no ammunition, so machine gun rounds burst even from unguided missile launchers hanging from helicopter suspensions. There was more of everything — more helicopters, technology, explosions, and, of course, grandiosity. There was an abundance of that. The filmmakers were unaware of that at the time but, from today's perspective Colonel Trautman's speech about Afghanistan seems both accurate and ironical. However, I can't laud the action too much this time. The creators got carried away, concocting indigestible nonsense, including a peculiar use (and effect) of Molotov cocktails in anti-tank combat and the chaotic two-against-all fight near the movie's end. As I watched, I couldn't fathom how the Soviets managed to stay there for so long. Despite its weaknesses, I must credit the film for laying the groundwork for Hot Shots! Part Deux. / Lesson learned: Beware of cunning Afghans.

The creators hit the spot this time and I thoroughly enjoyed this episode, so it has once again proven that even though the third season is quite mediocre, there is still some laugh-out-loud material. The blend of investigation and courtroom drama was spot-on. I didn't give it five stars only because there was some unnecessary moralizing thrown in. / Lesson learned: Find the root of the problem.

Given the letdown of the previous episode, it seems the creators wanted to go for the knockout punch by delving into Abed's mind in the sixteenth episode. Fortunately, they spared us the claymation this time. Still, the lack of humor persisted, overshadowed by pseudo-profound musings and more moralizing. Lesson learned: When faced with the choice between lunch and daydreaming, choose lunch.

As I suspected, the streak didn't hold up. The fifteenth episode turned out to be quite uneventful. Despite introducing multiple plotlines involving all the main characters, it failed to capture my interest. Unfortunately, it felt like a rehash, especially those songs about friendship. / Lesson learned: Pilgrimages just aren't my thing.

Not bad at all, but given its already crazy premise, I wouldn't have minded it going even crazier. The episode managed to pull the third season out of its slump, although I'm skeptical about how long it'll last. The documentary about the pillow fight had all the elements that such documentaries should have, especially if you're part of the emotional audience that gets moved by the right choice of background music and a fitting delivery. / Lesson learned: Watching this episode felt like being at a Turkish market.

Unlike the first First Blood, the creators didn't let the viewer discover the movie's message on their own. Instead, they continuously hammered it home, which, in my eyes, somewhat devalued the entire experience. In contrast to the previous film, this time, it was all about action, and as such, I suppose I should forgive it for many things. The movie was filled with clichés, which I can't fault because these films were the birthplace of such clichés. My critique is directed at the creators who persist in using them today. I get that Soviet technology might not have been accessible during the Cold War, but if an Aérospatiale SA 330 Puma could stand in for a Mil Mi-24, why not use another machine produced in Europe instead of the overused Bell 212? The action itself was well-executed and satisfying, but I couldn't overlook the mishandled details. The sound accompanying the firing of each arrow was so loud that Rambo could have been running with an AK. Artillery mines fired from mortars would probably have to hit someone directly because the creators purposefully omitted their terrifying fragmenting effect. And here's a piece of advice: never, I repeat, never use any rocket launcher in a small enclosed space. Aside from these issues, it was a typical 80s action fairy tale, which I sometimes find laughable, but I enjoy it nevertheless. / Lesson learned: If you're too young to remember 80s movies, go for something more recent.

After finishing this episode, my prevailing emotion was disappointment. It felt sneakily short. With many series, I often can't wait for the end, but Severance isn't one of them, so the shortened runtime caught me off guard. While the plot didn't quite reach the quality of the fourth episode, it still struck me as incredibly intriguing, and I definitely could've used another ten to fifteen minutes of it. True, the story began to stall a bit, but since I'm fine with subtle hints, I still dig it, especially when the events take a new turn, which certainly helped the overall vibe. / Lesson learned: If you're starting a resistance group, stick to the principles of conspiracy.

Yet another one of those not-so-remarkable episodes from the third season. The issue here was that most of the storyline failed to pique my interest, leaving me pretty bored. The romantic affair was a major annoyance, but there were still a few moments that managed to entertain me. / Lesson learned: Stay focused on your task.

Not even the second half of the season works very well for me. The episodes based on Abed's quirkiness wouldn't be bad if the creators didn't use it to excess. The twelfth episode was off the mark as a whole and originally I considered giving it only one star, but I'll admit that some jokes did amuse me. / Lesson learned: Don't be obsessed with yourself. Actually, don't be obsessed, period.

The start of the episode had me hooked, and although the absence of the elevator security guard was a bit of a letdown, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief by the end. As the episode progressed, it did lose some of its momentum, but that wasn't a major issue for me. Interesting dialogue unfolded in an otherwise uninteresting setting, works of art were compared, conspiracies unfolded, manipulations occurred, and even fans of erotica got their share. I've almost forgotten my reaction to the pilot episode, and now I'm genuinely enjoying the show. / Lesson learned: One can never be too cautious. Cannibals lurk everywhere.