Necrotongue

An awesome introduction to the legend of Christmas without the distractions of American commercialism. The Finns have gone wild again, and if they'd known Impaled Rectum back in 2010, it's clear who would have made the soundtrack to this joyous Christmas adventure. Finnish filmmaking may not be among the world's most popular, but I like their sense of humor very much, so I really enjoyed this Christmas story featuring the quirky Sami, reindeer, Santa, and elves. I had a great time, and even though Pietari was the main character, my personal favorite was definitely Piiparinen.

Well, this was a highly ambiguous matter. I thought it would be a fairly direct attack on the fortress, regardless of its quality, but it wasn't. I was quite bored for part of the duration, while at other times I was fairly entertained, but I never laughed out loud. Štěpán Kozub was at least a notch above the others with his performance, but I almost passed out when I realized who came in second place. Tomáš Magnusek!!! This amateur and the second-worst Czech director in my personal ranking completely blew me away with his acting. So to sum it up; the movie didn't impress me in any way, but it also didn't offend me, and the duo of Kozub/Magnusek ensured it had a slight above-average quality. I still can't believe it. Tomáš Magnusek!!!

I read the book, it entertained me, and I secretly hoped that when the author himself adapted the book into a screenplay and directed it, it could turn out well. And it did. Patrik Hartl did not disappoint Patrik Hartl and finally created a Czech comedy that I can genuinely enjoy. Without any effort. The cast of the four main roles smelled like perfection, Jana Kolesárová is already forty-five, but her sex appeal clearly doesn't care about that, humor and a subtle kind of sadness were present and active (but it wasn't some superficial Troška-esque nonsense) and I enjoyed it effortlessly. The author of the source material, the screenwriter, and the director managed to agree on the necessary (but unforced) shortening of the original text, and according to me, neither of the Hartls needs to be ashamed of the result. It was great, two hours passed like water, and I could easily endure it for a while longer. I'm glad that it succeeded once again in the domestic environment.

A few essential pieces of information at the beginning. Jiří Mádl sits well with me as a director, but as an actor, I don't particularly like Mádl. I'm not very fond of movies with children (especially with the fresh ones). Despite these considerable objections, the film didn't repel me in any way, although it is true that I didn't end up laughing properly throughout the entire time. It managed to evoke occasional amusement from me, but even so, it worked quite well until it came to the final burst of sudden romance. The conclusion was processed in the style of American romantic comedies, and I really don't like that. Today, I felt quite benevolent and considered giving it three stars, but the ending was enough to lower it to just two pieces.

An absolutely typical (standardized) American romantic movie, where the experienced viewer either suspects or already knows exactly how the whole thing will turn out after a few initial clues. And because the story takes place at Christmas, you won’t be spared the true American family values and great moral lessons. Humor, which would have made the plot more bearable, was almost absent in this case. Plus, I’m not a huge fan of Nina Dobrev. I’m giving this two stars because it’s a Christmas film, where I have to count on such phenomena.

A Christmas romantic comedy from Netflix – after such an introduction, you can't really expect much (at least not in my case). So, I sat back and prepared myself to give another boo! rating. Let me start with the negatives. Netflix was so focused on putting together an all-racial cast that they completely forgot about all the letters in LGBTQIA+. Come to think of it, I’m not sure if that's a negative... The main character's best friend did fill the quota but seemed completely unnecessary. And that's about it. Despite the blatantly multicultural setup, I had a surprisingly good time. I’m really fond of Emma Roberts, unlike her famous aunt, and Kristin Chenoweth puts a smile on my face every time I see her. The comedy clearly won out over the romance (plus it was the kind of humor that I appreciate), and the romance itself wasn't too much of an overkill. Except maybe the ending. To sum it up: It was a silly Christmas movie, but I had fun.

I was curious to see what a movie following the series would be like, but I’m mostly disappointed. The filmmakers made the same mistakes that bothered me in the series. Maybe the Finnish police operate on different principles from those that are standard in Europe, but I think it was more likely caused by holes in the logic. I found the episodes featuring Sorjonen's nemesis to be the weakest, so I didn’t appreciate Mastermind’s comeback. Sadly, this wasn't an isolated problem; entire events were repeated (albeit slightly altered), making me silently scream "Not again!" But seriously, in Katia's case, suicide seems to be the only realistic and humane way out. Plus, what a rip-off of The Silence of the Lambs...

Wes Anderson is a big mystery to me. I never know if I should look forward to his movies or be apprehensive about them. Some of them are a blast, while others are mind-numbingly boring, and I was naturally hoping for the former. In the end, it was somewhere in between; I enjoyed the atmosphere, the cast, and the plot. Paradoxically, I was also dissatisfied with the plot, as some passages dragged on, and the movie felt three hours long. But not giving up on Anderson, you never know when the magic will happen.

Since my motor skills aren't what they used to be I spend most of my days watching movies and (who knew?) playing online games. So Free Guy was just the perfect thing for me. In the game I'm currently playing the most, NPCs don't get eliminated, so I didn't have to feel guilty and could have a lot of fun watching Guy's fate. It wasn’t hard to enjoy this movie, because the writing wasn't bad at all, the cast was multicultural but the choices made sense, the dialogue wasn’t dumb, and Dude had the best unscripted lines I've ever heard. It would have deserved five stars if it hadn't been for the clumsy romance that slowed down the pace and the inspirational speeches followed by typically American "spontaneous" applause.

There are no words to express how bored I was. I have to give the filmmakers credit for making a tremendous effort to create an incredibly hilarious and awesome animated film, but their efforts turned out the way they did. Pathetic. Yet again, I've wasted a lot of time that could have been spent in a much more entertaining way. What a piece of crap.