3DD!3

A big disappointment. Apple was really keen, so was I, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a book so defiled in its adaptation. The special effects are fantastic and you can see the money that they pumped into this. The problem lies in sheepish scripts that, apart from the title, have nothing to do with the Foundation. The warped psychological histories, the central character’s sex-change, including illogical behavior, and the nonsensical (for a cool mathematician and a robot) shouting and emotional outbursts so clearly demonstrate the harmfulness of our times and the artificial attempts to update (instead of decadence and decline, a dumb terroristic reason) the sub-plots of the book, which just make the movie seem laughable in hindsight. Goyer is incapable of holding our attention and is afraid of re-casting. The emperor clones (the only inventive storyline and it isn’t even in the book) are a perfect example. The Foundation, taking place over the course of thousands of years, should change out the central characters about every two episodes, with Olivaw in the first and last episodes and Seldon making frequent guest appearances. By the way, Harris plays a completely different Sheldon than is described in the book and the only good example of casting is Lee Peace as the middle Emperor. Each time I had to force myself more and more to watch the next episode and each one had me falling asleep more and more. Which doesn’t bode well.

A silent Cage in a semi-amateur parody on pulp slasher books of the seventies. The bizarre-sounding premise is sufficiently robust (a shame it didn’t get into the hands of somebody with more talent) and even though the whole thing doesn’t make any sense at all, when the hero clubs the animatronic emu or weasel that the twisted child raper has turned into, you just won’t care anymore. The entertaining songs, illogical behavior from the killed kids’ and from Cage (pin-ball, energy drinks) are basically bonuses. P.S.: Make yourself a strong drink to watch with.

A TV B-movie with A-movie actors, a promising theme, a weak screenplay and the oh-so-mediocre Rawson Marshall Thurber in the director’s chair. Red Notice could be great a modern take on Indy (they even have Swastikas) and the search for Cleopatra’s golden eggs, if it weren’t for lots of nonsense and ridiculous (even if unexpected) twists. The Rock, Gadot and Ryan Reynold all act how they always act and if this had had more inventive (better filmed) action and if it hadn’t been filmed in a studio, it could have been a wonderful guilty pleasure, but this way it is only just an entertaining snack. P.S.: Not even Jablonsky was trying...

A commercial for being unfaithful with a miserable screenplay and correspondingly miserable acting performances. The kids who end up loosing a stable family because of this movie will sue it makers sometime in the future. The attempt at depicting "reality" in the Czech Republic is horrific. And the bit with the facemask will make everybody mad these days.

An optimistic, post-apocalyptic road movie with a subliminal storyline about people all being bastards and so you’d better kill them or run away if you see them. Hanks survived Covid-19, just to be taken out by a solar flare on Sun-28 and an ozone layer full of holes (like Swiss cheese), so he builds a robot to look after his dog when he is no longer around. Because a mega-storm is headed for St. Luis, he packs up his stuff, robot and dog, and heads for San Franscisco to see the Golden Gate Bridge before he dies. This picture that everybody and nobody will like is rather clichéd, but alternates moods (from over-the-top joy to pessimistic depression) unexpectedly naturally. The robot’s whistles in tried and tested Number 5/Wall-E style is fun and Hanks’ stern scolding that often presents the main human protagonist as an anti-social asshole acts as a dark counterbalance. Sapochnik’s fairly original approach is enhanced by several catastrophes that the heroic threesome come up against on the journey.  It certainly could have been approached from a different direction and called it Jeff and looked at bringing a robot to life, using the potential of the material to the full (and make it three hours long), but the storyline about coming to terms with death also has its positive side.

A meta-documentary about a pair of Mexican cops and their experiences with corruption. Half-way through this switches to some shots from filming and comments by the actors playing in it, which is rather weird. Zero action, and no attempt to make it at all special. The topic is robust and showing the truth has something about, but this really didn’t need to be a feature-length movie, for god’s sake. If this had been a half-hour episode in a series, that would have sufficed.

Burger is good at nice visuals and the premise is interesting, but that isn’t enough. The screenplay is weak and soon slips into a predictable routine. The kids behave like idiots, but not one of them is likeable. The only one to make an impression in acting terms was Colin. + Shame that we didn’t get a look at the surface of the planet.

A raw and pretty original insight into the life of a cunning thief. Pattinson enjoys his role of perverse scab with strange moral boundaries. His attempts at getting his disabled brother out of prison/hospital and the winding road leading to this goal serves only as a way of investigating the logic both of the main protagonist and of the lower classes of dirty New York. Great music, unbelievable pace.

I preferred Del Toro’s vision much more. Although this Hellboy tries to draw more on the comic books, it’s bloodier and ruder, but I miss the fantastic poetry here. Here they simply squander the mass monsters and characters appearing here, only to flit by on the screen, leaving you none the wiser. Harbour’s Hellboy is much more hideous, like a heavy-metal street bum, crossed with the devil. The action is hard and dirty, but full of playfulness and invention. The monsters are really demonic. The witch is so horrible that the sight of her made me feel physically ill. But my two-year-old daughter liked it...

This seems rather underestimated by others. OK, it has a rather average story and a weird beginning, but then Clint takes things into hand and contemplates about getting old and passing on wisdom to the younger generation. Not such a wow as Grand Torino, but still way above the competition. This old man, oozing with charisma, teaches a kid to ride a horse, pulls a cute housewife and knows how to fight too. In fact, I like this more than I expected. Loser cops... Stupid bastards. If they had a brain, they’d be dangerous.