Pain & Gain

I was really looking forward to watching Pain & Gain. Bay made it out of pure love for cinematography. To be able to make this, he signed up for making the fourth Transformers, and he put the Rock and Mark Wahlberg into it. I really like these two, so one beautiful sunny day I decided to go to the cinema, expecting to enjoy nice actors, great action, fun and amusement. And that’s not quite what I got, and I must admit that I keep mulling this over. The actors are not the problem. Mark Wahlberg is as hunky as probably never before, while the Rock is playing what is probably the most distinctive role of his career. The problem lies in the story. There is no one to root for. Everybody in this movie is a bastard. Moreover, this film is full of absolutely brutal dark humor. That wouldn’t be that bad, because I like this type of humor and usually have no problems with it. The problem comes when it begins to brutally cross the line. The line is crossed by the spectacular action, shot with a very decent, even though sometimes rather shaky camera, but also by the humor, which I couldn’t even get in the end. (2013-08-15)

Any chance of something smarter and more satirical is erased by the fact that Michael Bay is in the director’s chair, a creator with the mentality, the taste and the ethical views of a 10 year-old kid. Pain and Gain is the embodiment of what I despise in films: romanticisation of wretched characters, worship of violence, shooting from the hip and primitive humour. The argument that the movie is actually a critique of its stupid, primitive and shallow characters is only a cheap excuse for those who want justify to themselves the sad fact that they believe that all that blunt corporeality and jokes at the expense of fat people, gays and immigrants, and the glorification of violence are cool. Just like Bay. (2013-08-12)

Bay in his best form. A twisted story about how a bunch of bodybuilders decided to take a path to riches and glory. And God heard their pleads. Pain and Gain are down to earth Bad Boys 2, where reality (the plot is based on a true story) is often more incredible than even the worst Hollywood kitsch. Uncle Mike still shoots popcorn entertainment, this time cheaper, but, well… more entertaining. Mockery of the American dream was never this cruel and satirical. The actors handled their characters excellently, the Rock rules in his role of a dumb religious junkie (it’s a shame that we didn’t see him ride on that skateboard) and Marky Mark as a slick “man with a plan" of the gang definitely gets him some recognition. Ed Harris “merely" enjoys his role of a detective past his prime. The multi-angled storytelling, at some moments giving the viewer insight into the world behind the main characters’ brain curtains, all the way into their muddled thought processes, offers an opportunity to sympathize with each of them, because all of them have valid and very justifiable reason for their actions (hands on the grill). (2013-08-08)

If you take an hour of untethered action from Bad Boys II and replace it with an even larger portion of infantile entertainment aimed at gut reaction, so typical of Bay, this time presented as “nerds overflowing with clever plans". And although I would prefer to see this story in the hands of the Coen brothers, I can’t deny that in his own guilty pleasure way, Bay shows that he can also be, although not actually funny, at least entertaining. And this is in spite of its length and Marky Mark’s return to Calvin Klein underpants. (2013-08-08)

A similarly absurd spectacle to the Coen brothers' legendary Fargo. It's so bizarre, cynical and aptly ironic, so politically incorrect, so dehumanisingly testoste-packed, that in a perverse sort of way it's impossible not to like it. Moreover, it brutally kicks the ass of the notorious idea of the American dream of a land of unlimited possibilities, where everything can be achieved with diligence and ambition. The tragicomic figures with a dumbbell and a dollar sign for a brain, accurately portrayed by Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson, were a delight to watch. I’ve never been and I am not a fan of Michael Bay, he’s never known, and still doesn't know, moderation in his films, but here he actually turned this unfortunate trait into something unexpected: his best film. (2013-08-10)