J*A*S*M

Actually, a much better film than the premise of a vengeful killer whale deserves to be.

Queer and weird. I’m not jumping in joy, after the excellent The Ruins, the expectations were understandably higher, but this is far from a bad film, even if it doesn’t have much horror to speak of. The main relationship line is not at all ineffectual and could be the basis for a truly strong and sad film, but here it suffers because certain moments take the attention away from it and you simply stop believing in the behaviour of the characters (and I’m not speaking only about some moments between Jamie and Adam, but also between Adam and his mother, and Adam and Gracie). They should be portrayed a bit differently for the viewer to believe them. The film knows how to be atmospheric, nasty and creepy, or at least it tries (the first appearance of Jamie, the moments with Francis), and if it had spared us the most disturbing WTF moments (lying in the crime scene, the flying saucer, etc.), I would be fine with giving it a higher rating, but I’m left with the aftertaste of a squandered opportunity, but at the same time with the joy of an original film that’s not afraid to be different, even though it won’t please the average audience.

What a disappointment that was! I’ve always liked Timo Tjahjanto, Macabre is great and his contributions to the anthologies V/H/S and The ABCs of Death have always been among the best, so I was looking forward to his new movie, but well… It gave me the impression of unbridled ambitions, where, after a perfect and straightforward blood-fest (the above mentioned Macabre), the director wanted to make something more complicated, more complex and more meaningful, but it fatally fell apart. I’m really surprised that nobody during the creative process realised how much bullshit this was. The behaviour of the characters is always unreasonably senseless: the first thing I would do if by sheer luck I manage to kill two muggers, and barely got out of it alive, is, naturally, make a video of the dying bodies and upload it to the internet as soon as I get home. Or that unbelievable scene of the chase in the hotel, were a budding assassin (basically, an ordinary, untrained journalist) escapes more than fifty times, but is still there. The classical music fatefully playing during the closing scenes doesn’t take things to a higher level, quite the opposite, in fact. If you add to all this the absurdly long run, I have a candidate for the least pleasant genre experience of the year.

I’m giving up halfway through the series. It’s boring, disjointed, full of mumbo-jumbo about nothing, and it doesn’t have a single character that would attract me in any way. The average rating is mainly due to the excellent execution, the solid performances and the exciting pilot episode, but the feeling was lower.

I don’t really know whose idea it was to remake or reboot an almost forgotten horror franchise, while at the same time piss off those few potential enthusiastic fans with the fact that “The” Leprechaun isn’t there, but whatever, I’ve no problem with that. The execution is fine, the clichés sometimes aren’t (the fake rescues, when a character gets into someone’s car, but that person actually works with the villain, I hate them), the leprechauns look like the mutants from The Descent, and it has a short enough run. As a forgettable creature feature of the week is alright. 5/10

If it is about shit, at least make it fun. Alas, Septic Man is mostly boring.

I struggled a bit with the premise, It made little sense to me. I couldn’t find a very convincing causal mechanism in the way the dystopia is supposed to work out. But then I put that aside and let myself be carried away by the effective and poignant execution of the first story, which brought tears to my eyes in the climax. In the hour that followed I waited for a spark, something that would ignite the revolution against the system under the symbol of Michisirube’s protest song, but nothing. Instead of that, I got two stories, the second of which (about a blind girl) is significantly weaker, basically your typical emotional blackmail. As a whole is very inconsistent, but at least that part with the hero musician is great.

It’s pretty good fun as a guilty pleasure, but I would be afraid of using the word “smart” to refer to this film. The Arrival has a very serious sci-fi premise, but the execution is that of a B-movie, with awful dialogues and some truly WTF moments. The next time I want to discreetly kill someone, I will let a bathtub fall through the floor. Great idea. And the whole thing is brought down by Charlie Sheen, who doesn’t even look like Charlie Sheen. Actually, I don’t really how to rate it, two stars would be fine, but also four. I’ll leave it at three.

David Jung’s début, The Possession of Michael King, is another addition to the growing family of mockumentaries about possessions, not exactly J*A*S*M’s favourite sub-genre. After the spooky stories of James Wan (the tales of the Warrens), the horrors of Scott Derrickson (The Exorcism of Emily Rose), and the activities of Orren Peli, the Community of Horror Fans is saturated with the trend in modern spooky stories. But, overall, The Possession of Michael King, father of Ellie King and husband of Samantha King, is an example of solid horror and also a reminder of the excessive use of that silly attribute in the form of a name that says nothing in the title of a horror film. The Demon of Ferdy the Ant is cool.

A very slow and focused psychological drama about an eco-terrorist attack and the consequences the perpetrators have to face. Don’t expect a lot fun, it will actually require a lot of patience. I don’t agree with the main characters, I don’t even like them, but the film as a whole is fortunately smarter than them and it doesn’t blindly and unilaterally take their side. So, better that than that.