Jurassic World: Dominion

I walked out of the cinema angry after Fallen Kingdom, but after this piece of crap I just left feeling resigned. They basically failed to keep the promise promise of a dinosaur rampage in civilization, because the film, except for a few scenes, again takes place in a closed reservation where something goes wrong, and the dinosaurs practically do not interfere with the plot. The entirety of Jurassic World: Dominion is made up of uninteresting subplots that mostly rely on utter randomness, completely haphazard character motivations, constant disregard for the laws of physics, annoyingly cheesy fanservice, and last but not least, weird editing that gives the characters an artificial edge over the ultra-fast lizards, and most importantly, Chris Pratt's magical hands that can stop any attack at any time. Magic! The actors all look bored and annoyed, so how can I not be bored and annoyed? Objectively it's about 1*, subjectively I was slightly lulled by the return of old friends, of which Jeff Goldblum especially excels at glossing over the idiocies that take place in the film, so maybe I'll grind my way up to 2*. But let's face it, this once magical and majestic dinosaur franchise has hit rock bottom and now is a cheap box office cashgrab. If there was ever going to be a reunion of the original Jurassic Park cast, it should have been in a better film. (2022-06-16)

This is the recycling of the dinosaur movies where all the good has gone down the drain, leaving an unpleasant concentration of what is wrong with the Hollywood factory. The lazy script follows the same pattern for the sixth time, completely ignoring all the possibilities offered by the prehistoric monsters that are spread all over the planet. The joining of the new party with the old one features no surprises or a single spark. The parental theme is boring, and the only really full-blooded character is Kayla Watts (who maybe should have filled the quota, but she's a well-written and well-acted pilot)… Other than that it all goes on forever for two and a half hours. At the end, Ian Malcolm starts to spout a few catchphrases and unbuttons his shirt, and that’s about it. If it wasn't for the dessert in the form of the eaten guy on the electric scooter, which honestly made me laugh for about 5 minutes, I would award it the maximum misery. (2022-06-29)

Great individual scenes (the lake!) stuck together with very cheap glue full of cliché, homages to this (politically) hyper-correct time we are living in, frequent illogical behavior by the characters and dumb dialogs. All the same, this is a solid popcorn affair and pure fan service for lovers of the first Jurassic Park, but it’s worth a watch. It’s nice that the main powerhouse is made up of oldsters Sam Neill and Laura Dern and their hinted at love story from part one. Again this is about the classic struggle between evil corporation and mistakes made in the quest for profit by a miserable boss with the face of Tim Cook. This time round again, the story isn’t so much about dinosaurs as their clones, the genes of prehistoric locusts and good old whistleblowing. Dinos keep more to the sidelines, occasionally tripping up the main protagonists while they are trying to save the world from locusts and some sort of strange motivation driving them. A metaphor for wildlife protection (we have to act now, we should have done something...), but nothing else. In the end, it all boils down to quality, inventive action - the sequence on Malta is marvelous (will it be the new attraction in Universal Park?) - and who gets got by the T-Rex + who will help in the duel with the Giganotosaurus. The best thing here is Goldblum’s Malcolm who keeps on coming out with one-liners, going on and on about a dog that humped his leg so hard that he had blisters from it. P.S.: You made a promise to a dinosaur? (2022-06-08)

Well, they’ve killed Jurassic Park. And they've made caricatures of the original iconic characters, much like they did with most of the scenes that Spielberg gave the hallmark of something special, confident and immersive thirty years ago. The filler was at least entertaining, but even then I wondered a few times whether the filmmakers meant it seriously. Boring as hell, dumbly cynical twists and a clumsy environmental messages like from the monster movies of the 1950s. After this, I'm tempted to raise the far tighter and better edited and shot Extinction to 5* and the consciously, straightforwardly "campy" Jurassic Park 3 to 4*. Compared to this travesty, where Sam Neill is the only one who keeps his face, they are masterpieces. 40 % (2022-07-19)

A totally unworkable plot of repetitive action scenes that jumps like a flea only to finally retell what has been told several times before, but in a much more clumsy and emotionless way. The screenplay is a disaster, the direction of the action scenes follows the Bourne Bond axis, but it is not very skilled at that either. In the end, it's a mix of cluttered dinosaur MMA and Sir Attenborough having a severe stroke. (2022-06-08)