The Last Stand

OK, let the main character, written somewhere between Wayne and Eastwood, play a guy with a heavy Germanic accent. In more emotionally tense scenes, he resembles a bulldozer accidentally parked at a bicycle show and makes jokes about being an immigrant. Place under it the soundtrack, which partly springs up in heavy bass offensives, sometimes pays modernity, sometimes shifts to (probably ironic) classics, and often also the western ancestors. And let a Korean film it all, so that it sometimes resembles a border western, sometimes series crap about Texas rangers, sometimes an 80's action film and sometimes modern (I still can't decide whether the überdigital cuts in some of the action were a stylish intention or not). A film is most likely to be made that works best in segments where no one is acting or talking. The problem is that there are very few of those segments, and also the fact that Arnie doesn't act in comic / dramatic scenes any better in the new millennium than in his golden years - and there are very few scenes where he can give his sarcastic one-liners. The significant difference from the eighties is that the crowds will no longer be rushing to go see it. It's a pity - the last The Expendables showed the path that these old tanks can still go down. It just takes more exaggeration, self-reflection and fewer attempts to "make character". During the final fight on the digital bridge, I couldn't decide whether to feel amusement or slight regret over that anachronism. A bit of both in the end, this is The Last Stand. (2013-02-07)

Three starts because, despite all its shortcomings (from my subjective perspective), the film was fun and didn’t make me want to turn it off. What’s hopeless, though, are its attempts at humour, and it’s sad to see that Arnold’s overacting has infected everyone around him (Stormare!!!). The final fight on the bridge is also a self-parody almost. But all that notwithstanding, I had pretty good fun. (2013-04-25)

The classic comes alive, maybe not to the same extent as in the hyped-up The Expendables, but enough to bring a heady and warm feeling to the heart of action fans with its pure character (lots of catchphrases, big guns, bad guys and fast cars) and straightforwardness. It's been a long time since I've watched an action film with such a likeable cast and such a great balance of humour, which can often outshine a cheesy cliché or logic hole. Of course, looming over it all is the great Schwarzenegger, a huge star who only needs to appear on screen and throw one of his trademark glances, something he still manages with absolute bravado. Stormare is fine as the bad guy, Whitaker was not a happy choice and Knoxville with his permanently open mouth has to be endured. But when I think of The Last Stand with the benefit of hindsight, all I can recall is a far-fetched and incredibly stupid B-movie, the kind we have seen in the hundreds, but this, believe me, can not completely refute any of the aforementioned positives. 65% (2013-07-02)

The people behind this film fortunately quickly realized that this won't be another Terminator 2 and that it won't work "directly" with Arnold anymore, so they went about it cleverly. Thanks to skillful editing and camera work, the main protagonist is quite watchable, although many other things here are downright hopeless. An awfully boring and generic villain, inconsistent action (excellently edited shots intertwine with horribly confusing and chaotic ones), uneven pace, average one-liners. Sometimes I felt a brackish feeling. Yes, self-parody doesn't hurt (sometimes there is nothing else left) and it's still quite alright, but don't expect anything groundbreaking. It's not in any way progressive or clever from a creative standpoint. Just an average action movie with a few very interesting chases in a cornfield. (2013-03-25)

A likable cast in a simple action flick that sometimes surprises with a good idea and sometimes disappoints with a cheap cliché. With Arnold, big guns, sexy chicks, a fast car chase in a corn field, etc., The Last Stand is quite entertaining and definitely better than what the insipid trailer promised. (2013-01-22)