Transformers: Dark of the Moon

I went to the cinema thinking I was going to see a five-star film. After the first hour, I knew it was barely going to be 4 stars, and after another half hour I figured I wouldn't give it more than 3 stars. But then came the relentlessly long and repetitive ending and I can't even give it those 3. I liked Huntington-Whiteley until the fights started... then it just got ridiculous. Some of the effects weren't bad, of course, but the 3D was again completely unnecessary. A clean 2 stars. (2011-07-06)

Less Bay, more Emmerich, or else, out of the frying pan and into the fire. But still easily the best part of the trilogy. And, despite the first half, where there’s a lot of “face-making doubling as humor". But in the second, purely action half, Bay pulled himself together in terms of editing and shaky camera, left out all the “jokey" moments (not even the parents or Turturro get a look after the switch to Chicago) and rolls out one epic scene after another, or rather one hour-long scene. Which is paradoxically a big problem, because so much happens at once and non-stop, without any calmer interjections for a rest, that after a few (ten, twenty...) minutes, you can’t help getting fed up and stupefied. And that’s a shame, because more than one part deserves to be relished; particularly the escapades during the escape from the collapsing skyscraper. Again a confirmation of the hackneyed expression that less is often more. (2011-06-29)

I will divide Transformers 3 into three parts: 1) the dialogues, 2) the action set pieces (the motorway and the skyscraper), and 3) the remaining filler. Thumbs up for 2), but for 1) and 3) Bay deserves to have his ass kicked. Otherwise, I hope that this third part puts an end to this insult to science fiction (yeah, I know, I don’t have to watch it, but as a sci-fi fan, I was again unable to listen to the warnings that said: “Don’t watch this bullshit!”). (2011-12-29)

Dark of the Moon is another of the fantastic highway action flicks that are becoming the director’s most reliable trademark. The spectacularly flying marines, following the example of The Dark Knight’s flight in Hong Kong, and the final action inferno in Chicago are pure action pleasure. For a Bay movie, it is also unusually easy to follow. But the rest of the running time, i.e. at least half of the film, is humorless, boring and at times annoying like never before. John Malkovich’s character is horrible, and watching Frances McDormand and John Turturro making idiots of themselves goes beyond the limit of the audience’s endurance. And in which television mini-series did they find Patrick Dempsey and Rosie Huntington- Whiteley? Megan Fox, we miss you. I will probably burn in hell for giving the third Transformers the same number of stars as Trier’s Melancholia, but what can I do? Michael Bay is a talented commercial creator, sold out to the US military, US government and unscrupulous corporations, while embodying the glittering shine and the technical insurmountability of Hollywood possibilities. Take his camera away and we won’t have anyone to hate and admire at the same time. (2011-06-30)

I have bad with disruptive elements when it comes to Transformers. After a terrible experience with part two I went to the Imax, in the morning... but still I encountered kids. They were chatting away and kicking my seat from behind. And I think they didn’t even notice the movie going on. The screenplay... ehm... is some super serious conspiracy nonsense where there were fewer dumb jokes than last time, which is good, but at the same time so much happens that 154 minutes was just too little. Perhaps the director’s cut will be more satisfying in this respect. So that’s that. Now to the action, which is awesome as always, much more synoptic and the final action sequence that takes up the last fifty minutes of the movie is actually in 3D, just incredible. I actually had the feeling that Bay made Transformers 3 just to push the boundaries of 3D technology even closer to perfection. The highlight is probably the paratrooper mission in Chicago. Otherwise, the actors give their standard performances, Malkovich was really quite entertaining, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (one of the most beautiful new faces) is a perfect example of an accessory to the main character to the fullest (it’s quite funny how the situation is “supposedly" the other way round). The only new robot to get any space is Sentinel Prime, the others are here to make up numbers for the action. (2011-07-12)