10,000 BC

Uncharismatic actors, empty plot, instead of epic grandiosity and monumentality we have a stark journey of a group of homeless people to a pseudo city with visually impressive digital pyramids, the changing of locations is downright awkward (three minutes of cold, three minutes of jungle, three minutes of desert). The special effects team did a fairly good job, but otherwise this mess is completely pointless. Camilla Belle is delightful eye-candy, but even with the heroic music, half of which is stolen from King Arthur, the poor thing can't save it. (2008-07-21)

Another opportunity for an entertaining-adventurous film wasted. Emmerich's straightforward childishness and honesty with which he tells his stories fascinated me at times. However, as a result, the film is just a tired fable in which cavemen speak English with a Middle Eastern accent, mammoths build pyramids, and the last remnants of adventure are saved by a five-minute scene with a saber-toothed tiger. (2009-12-28)

First of all, I like films that maintain authenticity as much as possible. That's why I enjoyed Mel Gibson's films "Apocalypto" and "The Passion of the Christ" so much. He didn't succumb to the Hollywood bungle of filming everything in English at any cost. That deserves my deep and enduring admiration. One filmmaker already attempted a prehistoric film. Of course, there were others, but I mention Jean-Jacques Annaud primarily because his film "Quest for Fire" is something that appeals to my taste. In the movie, they don't speak, or if they do, it certainly isn't English. And not even French. It's about prehistoric people, why should they speak modern language in it? More: http://www.filmovy-denik.cz/2013/02/10-000-pr-n-l-2008-15.html (2013-03-22)

Directed by a Cro-Magnon, screenplay by a Neanderthal, and actors are homo sapiens sap... No, just plain homo sapiens. Just crap the size of a mammoth, excuse my language, turd. I’m sure even those saber-toothed tigers are capable of having more meaningful dialogs. And these are the movie’s greatest assets. It's hard to find a dumber and more idiotic movie, that is at the same time so sincerely childishly and mean-spiritedly entertaining. The best part is that apparently everyone takes it so deadly seriously. There is not a single deliberate joke ore snappy comeback in the whole film. Personally, what most amused me was Omar Sharif's "poetic" narrator and playing at thoughtful mythology. From the Egyptian passage onward I began to be afraid that it would turn out to be a prolog to Stargate. If you're expecting a second Quest for Fire you have the wrong movie, but if you want to see one big “what?", you're definitely in the right place. (2008-07-05)

With the exception of the mammoth hunt at the beginning, this naïve CGI fairy-tale has absolutely nothing to offer and is not entertaining, not even with Emmerich’s expected trademark silliness. It’s been a long time since I felt that I completely wasted two hours in a theater. From the script to the actors, 10,000 BC is an utterly empty movie. Ugh. (2008-03-17)